SELFISH PEOPLE LACKING EMPATHY USE THESE PHRASES DURING AN ARGUMENT

SELFISH PEOPLE LACKING EMPATHY USE THESE PHRASES DURING AN ARGUMENT

Selfish people without a drop of empathy usually say these 11 phrases during an argument.
One of them sounds like a request for love, but is actually pure manipulation.
Egoists rarely openly admit that they don’t care about others’ feelings . However, in a tense conversation, they almost always give themselves away with a few characteristic phrases that are hard to confuse with anything else, writes YourTango .

As the article states, such people feel comfortable as long as they receive benefits, and pay little attention to the feelings of their loved ones and friends.

This is what they say most often.
1. “It’s not my problem.”
An egoist rejects any request that doesn’t benefit them personally. The logic is simple: if it doesn’t concern me, then why bother? The publication acknowledges that most people care about their own interests in one way or another. But only a truly self-centered person puts them above the feelings of loved ones.

2. “Calm down, you’re too touchy.”
In reality, these words conceal something else: “I offended you, but I’m not going to take responsibility for it.” This way, the offender shifts the blame onto the other person and makes them the problem.
Clinical associate professor and physician Jason Shimiai warns that constantly downplaying feelings has consequences.

“When a person’s feelings are constantly dismissed or ridiculed, they may learn to suppress their emotions or doubt their own reality. Over time, this can worsen anxiety and depression. Belittling feelings is painful, and while a person can be honest, they can also be empathetic and respectful,” he notes.

3. “You owe me”
In any relationship, people give and receive. However, for an egoist, even a kind deed conceals a hidden catch, and every favor subsequently becomes a source of reproach.

Acts of kindness do not automatically create a debt. Moreover, a person may feel used and humiliated. A study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology linked feelings of disrespect to increased aggression.

4. “Okay, now I’m bad.”
This phrase is usually heard when an egotist is caught red-handed. Instead of admitting their mistake, they begin to feel sorry for themselves and thus shirk responsibility. Their worldview always includes “good” and “bad,” and sooner or later, even those who behaved most correctly are labeled as villains.
5. “If you really loved me, then…”
According to the authors, this is classic manipulation, as a person takes someone else’s boundaries as evidence of a lack of love. No one can satisfy all of another’s needs, but the reaction to rejection speaks volumes. If someone is understanding, that’s a good sign. However, if they push and try to get their way at any cost, that’s a warning sign.

Bruce Lee, executive director of the Center for Advanced Healthcare Communications and Technology, explains the dangers.

“Guilt manipulation can make you feel anxious, confused, and make you doubt yourself and even reality,” says the specialist.

6. “Oh, I don’t have time for this now.”
These words are most often heard precisely when someone needs support. For an egoist, other people’s worries are just another annoying task that can be put off. At the same time, as the publication notes, someone who truly cares will find the time.

Psychotherapist F. Diane Barth explains this behavior.
“Selfish people are unlikely to be empathetic toward another person in any way other than by assessing how well that person meets their needs,” she notes.

Therefore, if you do not bring any benefit to such a person, and even more so if you interfere, he will start ignoring you without hesitation.

7. “Be grateful, I did everything for you.”
This phrase is often heard by those who grew up with selfish parents or had a toxic partner. According to the authors, such people weaponize generosity and are even willing to undermine others’ self-esteem to get what they want. However, doing something for someone else with the expectation of retribution is a bad idea.

8. “I don’t see anything wrong with that.”
When you say you’re hurt or offended, an egotist minimizes your feelings. If it’s a small thing for them, it must be the same for others. As the article points out, such people often simply don’t notice how their actions impact others.
9. “I am who I am”
This excuse is often used by those who don’t want to change. The publication emphasizes that rudeness towards others is not a character trait, but a flaw that needs to be addressed.

Author, consultant, and coach James Kerr believes that anyone can change.

“People are capable of change. However, they must decide to do the work necessary to make that change happen,” he writes.

10. “It doesn’t bother others.”
Egoists believe that the way they treat some people is appropriate for everyone. For example, a person often argues, and it doesn’t bother their partner, but it does bother their friends. But instead of respecting their request, they respond with exactly that phrase. The authors remind us that behavior that is normal for one person may be unacceptable for another, so we must consider who we’re communicating with.

11. “I don’t owe anyone any explanations.”
According to the publication, this is the most selfish phrase on the list. It’s a way for a person to end any conflict and leave without explaining why they offended someone. They expect forgiveness, even though they’ve done nothing to improve. And if they’re not forgiven, then the other person is, of course, to blame.